On Being a Dabbler...

I recently was invited to lunch with some great women. I was flattered to have been included since I had to bring my kids and they were all very "posh" individuals. At one point in the conversation, one of the women was talking about how busy she'd been all week performing musically with some of her music students at auditions. That's what she does. She sounded so exasperated with how busy her week had been, and it didn't sound fun to me. I commented that sometimes I think it's not such a bad thing to be a "dabbler" -- meaning that I know how to do lots of different things, but I'm never good enough at anything to be in high demand, so it's not really stressful. I've always described myself this way. Her reply surprised me, though, because it almost seemed like my comment had offended her, when in actuality I was trying to complement her by insinuating that I didn't have the skills she has, so no one is knocking down my door. She said, "Yes, but being a dabbler doesn't get you a job." She said it very matter of fact and it bugged me. It was as though she were implying that I couldn't be as valuable of a member of society if I wasn't engrossed heavily in one thing. I replied, "Oh. I could get a job easily if I needed one in my field, but that's not my passion...it isn't what I love. So, I wouldn't do it if I didn't have to." Several of them were shocked with my statement, obviously assuming that a "dabbler" such as myself couldn't possibly have a college education. I thought it was an interesting assumption that if someone was well-balanced they couldn't possibly have anything useful to offer. I was told once by another friend that she liked being around me because I didn't make others feel like they were beneath me if they weren't as educated as I was. (And I only have a bachelor's degree for crying out loud!) This was a friend that I never imagined didn't have a college degree, but obviously had been belittled by someone who did. I held on to her comment from long ago and was grateful that she had affirmed that it was a positive characteristic to not flaunt my education and that it made at least some people feel more comfortable around me. I wasn't offended by the comments made at this luncheon, but I have thought about them several times since...wondering how I am perceived by others and why some things matter to people and don't to me. (Don't get me wrong -- I am still paranoid that people hate me or think I'm an imbecile at times, but I love being me.) Whatever the case, being a dabbler has served me well. If I get bored with one thing, there's always something else I can start (and I finish a remarkable number of those projects!) It comes in handy in motherhood because I can teach my kids how to do so many things, and I'm ready for any adventure any time. I'd like to think that my dabbling keeps me sane...or at least gives me plenty of options to keep me busy while I slowly go insane!