Thoughts on Kindness

Today I found myself thinking about the shooting at the Synagogue in Pittsburgh a month or so ago.  How is it that someone can determine an entire religious group is worth despising?  What are we doing wrong that leads to people hating each other by categories like this? What could have possibly happened in that man's life that led him to behave so violently and categorically?

I'm sure there are Jewish people that have caused loss or pain to someone else, just like there are also Christians who often do the same.  Does that mean that all Jews are horrible people or that the religion itself is evil?  Just because some Christians make poor choices, does that mean that all Christians are bad?

How about applying it to gender:  Just because a man once hurt you, does that mean all men are horrible?  Or just because you once knew a woman who couldn't do the job you needed done, does that mean all women are incapable?

And it goes on and on.  As if it isn't hard enough for our youth to learn how to interact socially with all the distractions they have these days, are we really ok with them learning from example that if you have a beef with someone, you should hate everyone who shares a common demographic category with that person?  Or worse yet, do we really want them to think it is ok to act out in violence toward anyone just because you disagree??

How do we teach this?  We need to speak kindly about others.  We need to disagree without being disagreeable.  We need to separate issues from the people that are involved in them.  We need to love people for the good that they do.  We need to say thank you more.  We need to listen to understand each other, and then speak.  We need to teach our children that standing up for themselves doesn't mean they should put others down.  We need to teach that it is ok to feel sad or frustrated because sometimes life is just like that.  We need to model these ideas to our children as they hit road bumps throughout their lives.

When we lived in Pittsburgh, we lived in the same neighborhood where this shooting took place.  The people there were some of the kindest I've ever lived among.  (They were almost dangerously kind!  They would stop at a green light to let a pedestrian through.)  I want to be the type of person that exudes kindness instead of anger; happiness instead of discontent; is a contributer instead of a distractor; solves problems instead of causes them.  I want to be able to be polite even when I'm tired or sad.  Amiable even when I've been treated poorly.

So, there you go.  Let's all decide to err on the side of kindness.  Not just now because it's Christmas time, but every day because the world needs it.