A Verbal Picture of Wedding Week

Just in case the wedding pictures don't turn out, I thought I'd try to "paint" the past week verbally.  It'll stay in my memory better that way. 

Yes, that is my mom, photobombing us while dancing.

I was a wreck about a week before all the out of town family arrived.  We have been planning this wedding for over 14 months!  Nevertheless, I was finding all sorts of reasons to convince myself it wasn't going to go as envisioned.  I stressed about whether everyone would enjoy themselves.  I stressed about whether things would come together as we'd planned.  I stressed about whether I should be doing one last thing to prepare.  I even stressed about possibly getting Covid at the last minute and not being able to attend.  

My prayers to be able to stay calm and not be an anxious mess brought forth a few miracles.  One was a general feeling that everything was going to be ok.  I can't explain it any other way.  I just suddenly stopped worrying.  The other miracle came in the form of an idea to create a dinner menu and offer to feed everyone at our house for the week prior to the wedding.  I figured that they had all come into town and maybe not having to buy or make dinner every night would be a nice break.  I also hoped that it would give us opportunities to get to know each other.  It wasn't that much extra work.  I had to feed my family every night anyway, so 8 people vs 20 was nearly the same amount of effort.

AND WE H AD SO MUCH FUN BEING TOGETHER!  We got to know each other.  We played games.  We hiked.  We shared hopes, dreams, and fears.  We laughed.  We rappelled.  We painted nails.  We solved last minute wedding decor issues.  We showed off our wedding outfits to each other.  It was like our family just tripled in size, yet we felt like we'd been friends forever.  It was such a great week.

We were all laughing at someone's observation that the Vans logo looked like a math statement: "square root of answer"

Tuesday evening, we hosted a bridal shower in our backyard.  I was touched by the kindness of my sisters and sisters-in-law who all came together to help in so many ways, providing food, decorations, and assembling floral crowns and boutonnieres for the wedding.  My brother-in-law strung lights all over the backyard and turned it into a magical setting.  We built our own ice cream sandwiches and everyone got to know the bride and groom better.  The party lasted until dark when the impromptu game of four square (adults included) couldn't go on any longer.

Wednesday morning, we put together the rest of the floral decor.  Good friends helped us create spectacular arrangements and corsages.  That evening, we had a wedding rehearsal in the backyard, followed by a delicious dinner.  Followed by more foursquare.

Wedding day came and everything was ready to go on schedule.  We packed up the car and started changing into our clothes for family pictures.  And then the next 3 hours were NOT as planned.  

First, the sister-of-the-bride's dress zipper jammed and then broke 5 minutes before we were supposed to be on our way to the wedding venue for a photo session.  After trying in vain to fix it, we sent the boys on to the venue and ran next door to our miracle-working seamstress friend to see if she had any ideas.  She determined that the only solution was to sew in a new zipper.  She handed my daughter one of her dresses to put on and then she started ripping out the broken zipper to replace it with another one that she had on hand (because everyone happens to have a matching zipper in just the right size when you need it in a pinch, right?).  Five minutes into that attempt, she realized the dress was too sturdy and the zipper wasn't going to come out easily.  So she went with plan B, which was to literally sew my daughter into the dress.  15 minutes later, we were on our way...only about 35 minutes behind schedule.  We jumped into the family pictures and were feeling great about our ability to rebound from the setback without being too flustered.

When it was time for us to access the venue space, we all went down to set up.  We were welcomed by a venue space that wasn't ready for us, NOR was it happy we were there.  The venue team accosted me with accusations about various "breach of contract" violations that had already occurred (Someone mistakenly asked if they could access the space an hour beforehand.  Apparently it was too difficult to tell them no and redirect them to the area that we WERE allowed to access.)  Then no one knew where the tool was that we were supposed to use to hang things up (because no ladders allowed for liability reasons).  Then they didn't have the tables and chairs anywhere in sight, nor were we allowed to set them up ourselves (for liability reasons).  Without tables, there was nowhere to put the equipment or supplies that we had unloaded from our vehicles.  We couldn't start assembling centerpieces or setting out the dishes.  Everyone had a job and was unable to do it.  You should have seen how "chill" I was.  I was so proud of myself!

Tables started getting set up slowly, though we had to coach the venue team through most of it.  Instead of moving faster, it felt like they were doing nothing.  Despite aforementioned liability issues, we ended up putting up most of our own tables and chairs.  The picture I'm painting here is of someone pouring out a jar of molasses on a cold winter day.  Also, said person was lecturing us about the importance of not letting the trash cans get too full before emptying them (um...wasn't that THEIR job, according to said contract?) instead of setting up tables and chairs.

Due to our super helpful team of family and friends scurrying to set up, we were still on target for our ceremony start time at this point.  Things weren't the organized dream we had planned for, but it might have still seemed semi-normal for the guests who started arriving 30 minutes before the ceremony.  Except that it was blazing hot outside so everyone was hiding out in the shade of the venue space that we were still trying to assemble.

Speaking of blazing hot...at about this moment, the beautiful cake showed up.  And since it was so hot, the cake lady recommended keeping it in the fridge until the ceremony was over.  She said she'd come back in an hour to put it out then.  Meanwhile, the hired band rigged up a line to provide a mic for us for the ceremony since the venue hadn't done that as promised.  They also let us use their keyboard since the venue had not in fact brought the piano out that we paid to use.  The Zoom broadcast was ready to go.  All we needed was for the bride to start the recording from her phone (since it was her account).

At about 9 minutes after our intended start time, we were all ready.  Bride and groom were relaxing inside the air conditioned building and guests were moving toward the ceremony space in full sun.  Parents had on their corsages and boutonnieres.  The violinist was ready to play.  And the bride's phone (required for the Zoom recording) was locked in a locker in the now locked basement of the venue.  The now seated guests baked in the full sun while this delay took place.  All parents were lined up and ready for the ceremony, with nothing to do but laugh at the events of the previous three hours.  I gave the bride and groom an enthusiastic thumbs up as we waited to walk down the aisle.  We started about 25 minutes late.

The rest of the evening was just about as we'd envisioned.  There were the normal glitches to expect:  photo opportunities that didn't go as perfectly as planned; guests who got stuck at a table with people they maybe didn't have much in common with; more kerfuffle when the venue staff didn't move the chairs they were supposed to move so we had to do that ourselves; a cake that sat in the fridge for longer than it should have (so many people never saw it).  But, the ceremony was lovely and they are finally married! The food was delicious and served just as the bride wanted.  The cake was a work of art and tasted amazing.  The shade and breeze and cold beverages cooled everyone off tolerably.  The band was AMAZING!!  The kitchen staff (all friends of ours doing their best to pull off a family style dinner for 90 people) slaved away for nearly 5 hours prepping, then serving, then cleaning and packing up leftovers.  The group of guests got smaller as people had to leave, but everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.  Even the parents.

Before we knew it, we were waving the newlyweds off and taking it all back down.  And those same people that we had spent a week laughing with were still having fun together as we worked to put it all away.  What a delight to inherit new family.  We got a son-in-law that adores our daughter.  And we got another branch of family with whom to enjoy the journey.